If you are feeling stuck or stopped by fear, these 6 simple steps will increase your flow state, bolster your courage, and get you taking action immediately.
Using the Release Attachment Process will quickly move you back to happiness, confidence and empowerment.
There are six simple steps that you can take right now to help release your attachments, so you can increase your flow state immediately. If you are feeling stuck or stopped by an irrational fear, if you are procrastinating and not in action, then mentally walk through these simple steps to increase your flow state, bolster your courage and get back to taking action.
Who is this process for? This is for people who are temporarily…
- Feeling stuck.
- Not taking action on something important.
- Annoyed with yourself, other people or the situation.
- Agitated by your situation.
- Feeling like things aren’t going your way.
If you are feeling any of the above, I propose you have an attachment present.
An attachment is an exaggerated fear of losing an imaginary benefit. It’s a form of negative mental chatter, this is running in your mind without your permission. An attachment robs you of your peace and stops you from living your best life. Let’s release it now. Do these steps in your mind.
#1 Identify what is aggravating you or making you feel stuck.
Take a deep breath and get centered. Tune in to your feelings. Get connected to the images, stories, and feelings swirling around in your body. Now formulate this negativity in a sentence or two. If you are in a position to do it, write it down. It will help to get it on paper.
Take a deep breath and get centered. Tune in to your feelings. Get connected to the images, stories, and feelings swirling around in your body. Now formulate this negativity in a sentence or two. If you are in a position to do it, write it down. It will help to get it on paper.
#2 Identify what you are afraid of losing in the future.
How you feel today is an aspect of the future you are present too. Your mind assumes something negative coming in the future, and that assumption is aggravating you now. To deactivate this fear, take a deep breath and get centered. Visualize a fearful outcome are you imagining. Notice how your survival system has been activated, which makes you less logical. Now, get clear about what you are afraid of losing. If possible, write that down.
How you feel today is an aspect of the future you are present too. Your mind assumes something negative coming in the future, and that assumption is aggravating you now. To deactivate this fear, take a deep breath and get centered. Visualize a fearful outcome are you imagining. Notice how your survival system has been activated, which makes you less logical. Now, get clear about what you are afraid of losing. If possible, write that down.
#3 Clarify how this fear of losing a benefit in the future is an exaggeration
Take a moment to be honest with yourself. How is your fear an exaggeration? What are you exaggerating?
To take back control of your experience of life, you have to learn to create a new context for the situation. In the Rapid Enlightenment Process, I call this Recontextualization. Rather than allowing The Drunk Monkey (the survival mind) to fear losing some imaginary benefit in the future, you create a new context. Admit it, “This is an exaggeration! I don’t know what the future holds.” Then you list all the reasons why it is an exaggeration and not a reality. Be honest, The Drunk Monkey is not a psychic and doesn’t know the future.
#4 How will losing the benefit actually affect you without exaggeration?
Take a moment and think it through. Get honest. If the worst happens, then what is the real impact without exaggeration?
Take a moment and think it through. Get honest. If the worst happens, then what is the real impact without exaggeration?
For example, many of my clients start feeling agitated by a project they are involved with. They start to fantasize about things going wrong. The Drunk Monkey kicks into action and begins to project all the negative outcomes. This is an Unconscious Reflex called Forecasting The Negative (see chapter 11 of my book Quiet Mind Epic Life). As a practical matter, I would ask you and them to think it through, “If you lose that client or the project fails, or you make that request, or you lose that job, what will actually happen? Without the exaggeration?”
Be honest with yourself. Uncover what you are afraid of losing without the exaggeration.
#5 Make peace with the loss.
Now that you have guided The Drunk Monkey back to a more realistic view of what will happen if you don’t get what you want, make peace with that outcome. Make a plan for the worst-case scenario and make peace with the negative outcome. Then step way back and be honest. You have lost, failed, screwed up, and didn’t get what you wanted many many times before. In reality, you keep getting more opportunities. Life goes on. You keep moving forward. Look at all your past failures and setbacks. Remember, you get through this too.
When The Drunk Monkey starts whining, “I’ve invested all this time, I have to get something out of it or I’ve wasted my time” push back. Make peace with the loss of time. Find the context that says, “I don’t like it. It’s not my preference, but I will make it work.” Be honest, you will figure it out.
I like to answer these questions to give me a different perspective:
What will you learn from this experience?
What questions will you ask next time?
What new information will you have to start again more intelligently?
#6 What are you actually committed to?
Take a moment and think about it. If you could create the outcome you wanted, what would it be? Don’t allow The Drunk Monkey to get upset or whiny here. Be logical. Be balanced. What do you want? Write it down.
What will you learn from this experience?
What questions will you ask next time?
What new information will you have to start again more intelligently?
#6 What are you actually committed to?
Take a moment and think about it. If you could create the outcome you wanted, what would it be? Don’t allow The Drunk Monkey to get upset or whiny here. Be logical. Be balanced. What do you want? Write it down.
Now get connected to the real reason you are doing all this. Ask yourself, “What’s important about that?” over and over. With each new answer, ask it again, “What’s important about that?” You will arrive at an experience of life that you are committed to having. The experience you want is the genuine reason you are committed to this. It will be something like, “I will feel happy! I will be excited. Peaceful. Secure.” There is a global experience you are trying to have. Ready for the shocker? The imaginary benefit you have been afraid of losing won’t make or break you having your global experience. You can be joyful, excited, peaceful, or secure regardless of the outcome.
Bottom line…
The Drunk Monkey gets attached to the results and benefits it fantasizes about. If you can catch it making up stories and exaggerating, you can make a choice and find your way back to empowerment. That’s the name of the game!
Don’t be at the mercy of The Drunk Monkey. Increase your effectiveness by releasing your attachments, and keeping your eye on taking focused action.
The Drunk Monkey gets attached to the results and benefits it fantasizes about. If you can catch it making up stories and exaggerating, you can make a choice and find your way back to empowerment. That’s the name of the game!
Don’t be at the mercy of The Drunk Monkey. Increase your effectiveness by releasing your attachments, and keeping your eye on taking focused action.
Author
Matthew Ferry
2 Comments
The process is not bad. Quite helpful.
But as a blogger to blogger I want to encourage to check spelling and grammar. This version is actually shocking in the amount of errors. What does it mean “Now that you are walked The Drunk Monkey back to a more realistic view”?
Thank you, Gigi. The “are” should have been a “have”. I’ve cleaned up the typos that I saw. Appreciate you pointing this out.