by Kristen Marie Ferry
Matthew Ferry taught me “my mind is not my friend.” True that.
I was taking a nap the other day, and realized as I was dreaming, that my mind was like the screen in a movie theater. On the screen were images – some unknown to me, some memories from long ago – that suddenly appeared without reason, cause or purpose. It’s as if whatever that talking is in my head (The Drunk Monkey as Matthew calls it) will put anything on the screen of my mind that it wants. Seemingly to entertain itself.
Upon waking up I said “Well that was weird. Who exactly is doing the thinking around here?”
Turns out a lot of the time it ain’t me. It’s the biology in my head (aka The Drunk Monkey) doing its thing. How do I know?
I’ve asked it to stop rethinking things over and over and over. I’ve asked it to stop beating me up. I’ve asked it to stop deciding that I screwed up, or said something dumb, or should have blah, blah, blah.
It ignores me. It continues entertaining itself with ridiculous opinions, beliefs, and judgments.
So I ignore it for the most part. (This takes focus, discipline, and consistency… but let me tell you, it is worth it! Eventually, the darn thing gives up.)
And on occasion when it does get my attention, I just giggle. How silly it is that the talking in my head likes it when I suffer? I find it hilarious, and then move my attention to thoughts that make me feel good, strong, loved, connected, involved, compassionate, excited and happy.