The holidays can be difficult for a highly conscious person like you. For most of us, spending time with extended family is harder than we want it to be. Our objective for peace of mind seems to be thwarted by our families lack of interest in being at peace.

Most of us are related to people who prefer conflict, gossip and playing the victim. Our family holds us to standards we didn’t sign up for and get upset when we behave in a way that is authentic. Here are some enlightened perspectives to help this holiday be the most peaceful one yet. Here are 6 ways to be at peace during the holidays.

#1 – Catch The Drunk Monkey pretending it is psychic and making up stories about how everyone will behave over the holidays.

The Drunk Monkey uses past data to create scenarios in your mind about what will happen in the future. Bust The Drunk Monkey! You have no idea what will happen. The past never repeats itself. That is an illusion. Of course, there will be similarities. This group is predisposed to dealing with each other in habitual ways.

But here’s the crazy part. If you decide that you are going to embrace the moment. If you decide that you are going to look for good, the positive, the uplifting, the kind parts of your family members… you will find it. And when you do, their behavior will change.

#2 – Stop holding people accountable to agreements they never made.

Your relatives didn’t sign up for your “life plan”. They are doing the best they can to live a good life based on their pre-existing filters (karma), the way they related to life early on and how they reacted to cope with the uncertainty of life. They want to feel good just like you. But they probably know now how.

You aren’t the ruler of the universe. You are not the model for good behavior. Let them do what they do without any judgment or resistance on your part.

#3 – Release The Hidden Motive to Survive called Grudge.

Over time we protect ourselves from certain people. We create generalizations about them and then we operate like our made up story is “who they are now”. But this is a lie. They have changed. You have changed. They are constantly growing and evolving just as you are.

Grudges are survival consciousness. Thanksgiving is not a threat. Dinner with your sister who gets drunk and loud is not a threat. Your Mom’s drilling questions are not a threat. Your Dad’s opinions are not a threat. Use the Release Grudge Meditation (grab it here) before Thanksgiving and release the grudges you are holding against anyone in the family.

#4 – Do an experiment called “practice total and complete acceptance”

To be at peace, you must be in a state of “all is well”. That can not be achieved if you are resisting anything. Do an experiment and go into a state of non-resistance. Practice total and complete acceptance of all people, in all situations, at all times; including youself

#5 – Apply the physical body version of acceptance to the holiday

It is very likely that your family members are operating in a survival framework. This is not bad or wrong, it just is. It’s the state of affairs for most humans on earth right now. So give them a little slack. You were born this way. Most of them probably weren’t.

In an effort to be in a state of total flow and grace with the people at Thanksgiving, practice getting into physical alignment with them. Practice with the person you resist the most. Notice how they are sitting, notice the perfection of it and appreciate their posture. Then slowly move your own posture to fit theirs. This sends an unconscious signal to their Drunk Monkey (survival mind) that says you are in agreement with them… they are a friend, not a foe.

Next appreciate their speech patterns. Do they use um? Do they speak monitone? Are they loud, soft, fast or slow? Notice. Appreciate. Get facinated by them. Then slowely adjust your speech to match theirs the best you can.

If you are have achieved appreciation, then your adjustments will cause them to feel completely at ease with you. You are speaking directly to the unconscious survival mechanism and you are telling it, “I am one of you” which creates a deep rapport and peace for both of you.

#6 – Give Up Being Right and Choose Peace.

In the end, most of what you or your family members want to be right about are just opinions or preferences. They aren’t actually right or wrong. If your brother says, “The president is blah blah blah!!” and you disagree, let it go. You are committed to being at peace. His perspective isn’t right and yours is not right either. Neither of your is right or wrong.

Being right is survival consciousness. When you know that you are infinite and that your family is infinite, you instantly forgive them for expressing opinions that conflict with yours. You know and you trust that all is well.

To be at peace during the holidays, continue to set your intention to know that all is well.