Divorce can be brutal on you emotionally. When my first wife divorced me, I was devastated for a couple of years. Needless to say, back then I did not understand how to feel bliss and all I had was anger, doubt, fear, disappointment and hurt feelings.
That was years ago and it was the catalyst for a profound transformation in my life. I’ve sought bliss and found it. Since then, I’ve supported many of my clients through the process of divorce. So the question is, can you experience bliss while in the middle of your spouse divorcing you?
The Cost of Ridiculous Bliss During Divorce
You can’t just snap your fingers and have Ridiculous Bliss during divorce. It’s going to cost you some very valuable emotional attachments. The Drunk Monkey is very greedy and operates from fear and you will have to confront the illusions it has created and give them up.
The cost of bliss in the middle of a divorce is the cost of righteousness. You’re going to have to give up that you’re right and that your spouse is wrong. If you are not able to acknowledge the validity of your spouse’s reasoning, then you will not feel bliss.
Another cost is going to be the cost of being a victim. You are going to have to let go of the idea that your spouse is screwing you over and that you are being victimized and that he/she is ruining your life. You will have to give up the BS story that he/she is causing your life harm. They’re not causing your life harm, they’re simply leaving. And then, you have to deal with that.
Another cost is going to be irresponsibility. You’re going to have to admit that you were part of this process, that you were part of why the person is leaving and that you are equally responsible for the situation turning out the way that it is.
If you are willing to deal with those costs, then you can find yourself back to bliss and get to a place where you start to feel good, feel happy, feel powerful again. Until you are willing to give up these things and submit these costs, you’re going to feel victimized, feel like you are being attacked and believe that your life is being ruined and that things are no good, and that you have no control, that you’re a powerless victim. And, none of these things are the truth and all of those things will make you feel miserable and upset.
Divorce is An Opportunity
You absolutely can feel bliss in the middle of your divorce if you begin to examine or look at your divorce as an opportunity. Begin to dream about possibilities. Realize that you are now going to grow. Know that you’re going to the next level. The next phase is beginning. You’re going to have new choices, new opportunities and new possibilities that are going to arise for you out of this.
Breakdown is the beginning of breakthrough. If you will stay present to that future and what it means and what you can create out of this, you can go into more exuberant, joyous states.
Author
Matthew Ferry