When your mind is silent, love is your natural state. When your mind is silent, you are capable of deep appreciation and radical gratitude. Your mate, your lover, your spouse are whole, complete and perfect exactly as they are. From an enlightened perspective, your partner is just an expression of your interpretations.
Love is your natural state. Love is who you are. Love is experienced deeply in moments of no mind. That isn’t true for everyone. But if you are tuning into my blog, then you are a high conscious person and love is what is underneath the angst of The Drunk Monkey. (find out more about The Drunk Monkey here)
When the mind is quiet, you have a pervasive feeling that all is well. Nothing needs to be done. Everyone and everything is whole, complete and perfect.
From my perspective, the meaning of love has been lost by the masses. Most of us have love collapsed with Limerence. The state of infatuation designed to get us to have sex.
- Love is not the biological urges to be with someone.
- Love is not infatuation.
- Love is not the desire for sex.
- Love is not feeling sexy, hot, seductive, aroused.
- Love is not feeling attractive, feeling attracted.
- Love is not spicy, steamy, flirtatious or even sensual.
- Yet, that’s what most people call love.
Those are the feelings you get because the body has been programmed to operate like you are too dumb to be trusted to replicate and have sex with people and make babies.
Infatuation, feeling sexy, being hot and bothered for another person are urges represented by the naturally drugged up state most love songs are written about. Those definitions are beaten into our psyche by love stories, love songs and the reports we get from our friends when they are in the mating ritual.
Sorry, that’s not love. It’s nothing more than a chemical cocktail that guarantees you will have sex and make babies. Being hot for someone is not love, it’s infatuation.
The word that describes the lost meaning of love is appreciation. You might say that it’s a combination of appreciating the other person’s point of view, accepting their flaws, recognizing that they are doing the best they can and honoring their style of living.
Love is a state of mind. It’s a point of view that makes you happy about spending time with this person. And yes, it feels good. It feels really really good. But it’s not the wild chemical high of the mating ritual. Love is a state of being. The same way that happiness is a state of being.
When judgment and resistance are not present, love is what’s left. Which means you appreciate the other person. The good, the bad and the ugly. You recognize that the good, the bad and the ugly are all just your points of view so you don’t make them a threat.
You feel love when you are expressing love. When you put out love and appreciation, you get love and appreciation back. You are getting what you are putting out. You get what you look for.
When you are loving, you appreciate, you honor, you seek to understand, you trust that people are doing the best they can.
Love is present in…
- Kindness
- Desire to uplift
- Seeking to empower
- Appreciation
- Understanding
- Caring for another
- Enjoying each other
Love cannot be found in…
- Needing to change people
- Wishing people were different
- Making others wrong
- Being arrogant
- Pretending that your way is the right way
There is no love in judging your mate, labeling your mate, comparing your mate to your parents.
Today, set your intention to practice total and complete acceptance of your partner at all times, with all things. Say it several times today. Push yourself to see that your partner is not a threat and all negative emotions are just a misrepresentation of survival consciousness.
Author
Matthew Ferry
5 Comments
Thank you. I sometimes think I should be in love the way society tells me I should be. It makes it seem like were missing out if we dont have fiery sex or even the desire for it. The love I feel is enough!
Sometimes I need reminding so tganks😉
Thank you.
Are you saying that Divine Eros is not a real possible expression of Love, or am I missing something?
Sincerely,
DK
David, Eros is a Greek word that means passionate love. Adding divine as a qualifier implies something spiritual. I believe that you are pointing to an energy we might experience during Tantric Yoga with our partner. An ecstasy experienced when we connect with shatki or kundalini. If you use your muscle testing to confirm, these experiences are not expressions of love. They test as expressions of connecting to the infinite/divine. Therefore, you aren’t actually experiencing “love” of your partner as much as you are experiencing a profound state of love.
In the end, we are never loving anything other than ourselves or what we are experiencing. You can’t love a person or a thing. You can only love your experience of a person or a thing.
Yes I believe that what you described is love. What you speak of is unconditional love. However, I have “loved” unconditionally through people’s flaws. Accepted them for who they are. This is what we should hold for all of humanity. Our spouse though? This love ….true spiritual love is different. You can unconditionally love and appreciate and not judge your neighbor, your friends, and come to a place where this is possible with even your enemies. Just because you love and honor all. Recognize that everyone has a divine purpose on this planet no matter their perceived “flaws”…..or really just your ego differences vs theirs does not mean you are IN LOVE. This is respect and honor.
I believe your relationship with your partner should be deeper than that. So that begs the question…….what is true love…….????? Not love for humanity….true deep spiritual love? What makes that different than the love we should all hold for every human? What makes two souls magnets for one another? Why? Dig deeper…….. please tell me.
Excellent timing Matthew! I needed this reminder in an issue in my life right now. Thank you! 😉