The Drunk Monkey, my nickname for your mind, is committed to keeping you alive. Therefore, it spends time proving its’ conclusions. All of your conclusions about life, your opinions about how life is, are just observations filtered through all of your other observations. Which means, our opinions are very skewed and off-base.
Let’s say your partner, lover, or significant other does something that contradicts your opinion. In your family, you never yell at people. In your partner’s family, they yell and scream when they feel anger. This yelling and screaming contradicts your opinion about how things “should” be. The Drunk Monkey deems it a threat and next thing you know you are operating like your partner is bad and wrong!
From that point on, this perception becomes self-reinforcing. Any time your partner reacts in a way that contradicts your opinion, The Drunk Monkey says “See! I told you he/she is wrong!”
Today, just notice how you say you love this person in your life, yet you have a laundry list of things that are wrong about them. That what you really are thinking is that if your partner were to be perfect, they would do everything the way you deem right.