Author: Matthew Ferry

It’s easy to let what’s happening in the external world drive our thoughts and behaviors. It’s not always easy to see why we get hooked on assessing, judging, and sorting through the non-stop stream of information coming at us day after day. As human beings, we are hardwired to survive. It’s built into our DNA. The Drunk Monkey (my nickname for the mind) is designed to protect you from possible suffering, from pain and from discomfort. It’s designed to assess the external environment for threats – real and imagined – and then act accordingly. As a result, it has a…

One of my clients sent me an email.  “Everything I manifested fell apart! Now what?” This is my answer: You aren’t perfect, life isn’t consistent, and you are learning. When what you want manifests and then everything goes to sh** don’t lose the lesson. Don’t lose the clarity comes from things not working. There is a skill, discipline, belief, structure or accountability missing. Think about it. What’s missing in your life so that you can pull things to you, and then they fall apart? For example, in sales, one might be able to get the appointment but cannot get the…

One of my Wall Street clients is totally on fire.  Which is a bit of a shocker given the current financial crisis the world is in. Last year he got fired by one of the biggest firms on the street and it’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to him.  This year he has spent the entire year working on himself.  Clearing up past resentments.  Getting clear on his priorities.  Connecting to his true purpose in life.  Loving his children more.  Spending time getting in shape. The Result? He has doubled his income over last year (which was already…

I’m working with 73 Realtors in a six-month coaching program right now.  Their businesses are growing in a wild and exponential fashion.  Why? When the economy shrinks, demand increases.  Most people can’t believe that is true.  And that perspective is the trigger that makes it true.  The number of people who are emotionally shutdown far outweighs the decrease in business. If there were 10 deals a day before, and there has been a 40% reduction in the market place, then there are only 6 deals a day being done.  Here’s the good news!  If there were 10 agents to get…

Joy is your natural state.  Joy is how you feel when you have no resistance to anything or anyone. Fear is a biological response that is generally a hallucination you are having about the past or the future. Notice how infrequently you experience joy and how often you are “concerned” with time, getting things done, who’s doing what and when, etc.  These are all fears that the future is not going to be what you want it to be.  Notice The Drunk Monkey in Action today.

Is fear good?. If we think about it, it’s been our saving grace as a species.  Thank God for Fear!!  Without it, you would walk into traffic and get run over by a car and do all sorts of dangerous things. Dangerous.  Hmm?  Is your job dangerous?  Is your spouse dangerous?  Are your children dangerous?  No No No!  Yet, there are times when each of us experiences anger, doubt, frustration, and upset in the above three examples.  Fear responses in non-dangerous situations. Fear is good in relation to survival.  The problem is, you are not in survival situations very often. …

One of my clients is a very creative journalist and author.  She has found herself at a fork in the road.  She asked, “How do I sort out the dichotomy between taking projects to completion and being open to what’s next?” This was my response: Completing projects is only important if it feels good.  Now I’m not advocating being a quitter so stick with me.  Many times we make promises to things that in the end are not good for us.  But it’s hard to know that up front.  So you must do a dance with life and keep checking…

Any time your world isn’t working, look at the relationships in your life.  Any time your life seems stuck, look at your relationships with people.  If you can’t seem to get motivated to take action, examine which relationships are working and which are not.  As an Inspired Action Coach, I have seen thousands of people down in the dumps and not taking action on their dreams.  The number one reason is discontent in relationships with others. Sounds weird but it really isn’t.  If you got really honest about your life, you would come to realize that relationships are the cornerstone…

I have many friends who are prominent globally.  I just finished dinner with someone whose name you would know.  This friend graces many stages with his presence, millions of people adore him, and yet, he feels alone. I am fascinated with the degree to which people’s power, possessions, accomplishments, and achievements are a reaction to their internal pain.  After coaching thousands of people to live in a state of joy now I’ve seen that the biggest obstacle to feeling totally satisfied with now is a person’s fundamental misperception. A quote from one of my favorite books You2 by Price Pritchet…

I just got off the phone with a prominent journalist who exclaimed, “Matthew, I’m stuck!  I’ve got all these incredible ideas and projects that are 1/2 started but I can’t get anything to move past the idea stage.  What do I do?” This is a buddy of mine so I took off my buddy hat and put on my coach hat.  I asked him, “How long have you been stuck?”  He replied, “Ever since having a fall-out with my last editor.”  Of course, you know my next question, “Tell me more about that?”.  You see, coaching is the process of…